(continued from fuck buddy)…
If she shows up by herself then you’ve got a potentially hairy situation. It’s important to play this the right way and read her as well as you can. Her natural instinct will be to latch on and yours may be to let her. The key is to give her just the right amount of attention and establish a friendship with no sex talk. You need to look like a true nice guy without giving in to her need for attention. Generally in this situation, I try not to get too drunk and try my best to establish a friendship with the girl. Don’t be too animated, hold back a bit and just be cool. Your goal here could be a number of things. If she’s really latchy and really cute then you might just have to abandon the whole process and go straight to the bedroom and then never speak again. If on the other hand, she’s shy and sweet then I typically just treat her like one of the guys. If she’s shy and sweet then your goal should be to establish friendship so next time she will bring her friends or so you can continue to plant the fuck buddy seed.
It’s all a delicate art and you don’t want to overdo it one way or the other. After you meet the girl on your first date, you should have a good sense of how to treat her while you pursue the next goal within the process.
The key is knowing what your goals are along the way. If she’s really latchy then you’ll want to get the sex out of the way as soon as possible and let the dust settle where it may. (forewarning: she might be crazy and you may just want to run) If on the other hand, she is sweet and seems normal then get to know her a bit. Many sweet and normal girls are just looking for some casual sex too but they want their fuck buddy to be someone they trust. Play the long game and don’t just move from one girl to the next. Over the years I’ve built up a network of women I have sex with all the time that are actually friends with each other. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you treat dating more like networking. Just last week I setup a threesome with a couple of these girls and we’re all still on great terms and are talking about doing it again.
Another key to all of this importance on focus. Do not focus all of your attention on her. You never want to come off as too interested or too disinterested. The key is finding a good balance but the two things your are most trying to do within the process are 1) make yourself look valuable while 2) seeming caring and kind. For most, this takes the form of being and “Orcestrator of fun” who isn’t afraid to listen. Good luck out there and enjoy your fuck buddies!