A funny thing happens when you start dating. You realize that most of the women you date aren’t really “relationship” material… When you are in the mindset of finding the right girl, most guys just keep on going and date the next girl in hopes of here being “the one.” The problem? You are meeting all of these women, establishing some relationship and then leaving. It would be like if someone was handing you money and you just kept burning it because the bills weren’t big enough. Very stupid practice, but it’s what most guys do.
Look, there are instances when you go out with a woman you don’t ever wish to see again. Totally cool, then don’t. My argument is that you should try to salvage friendships with as many girls you go on dates with as you can. This is beneficial in a number of different ways. You can develop a network of female friends which can help you find “the one” better than any internet dating site, you have more people to go out with, one of you’re friends might like this girl, and most importantly… you are laying the seeds for a fuck buddy relationship.
So meet a bunch of girls online, go on a bunch of dates, tell them “let’s just be friends” then meet up with them as friends and have tons of casual sex with lots of women, right?
Yes! But, there is a caveat… You have to know how to transition these dates into fuck buddy friendships properly. This is absolutely key. You have to remember the girls you are meeting are also looking for their “Mr. Right” and you can’t just tell them “Hey, this isn’t going to work but I think we’d make great fuck buddies.” Anyone with half a brain knows that isn’t going to work. On the other end of the spectrum, you can’t just establish a friendship then hang out every weekend for a month before casual sex starts happening. Even though you told her you wanted to be friends initially, through your actions you’ve shown her that you want more than that and you are no in a relationship. Not cool. So, how do you do it?
Be honest and polite! On the first date, let her know that you’ve had a great time but unfortunately you just didn’t feel a spark. She seems like a very special girl you would like to get to know better but in a friendly way. At first, she won’t like what you’re saying and depending on her response you may have to try a little white lie.(ie: “I’m sorry, It’s my fault. I thought I was ready to start dating again but now that we’re here and you look so beautiful I feel like I’m cheating even though I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago. It just doesn’t feel right and I’m sorry for wasting your time.”) You will have to decide how thick to apply the sappy recovery line and eventually it will become an art form, but just try to find a way to make her feel better while still keeping the friendship option open.
So, now you’ve had your date and a few days have passed. Send her a text letting her know you were sorry again but really did have a great time with her. Also mention you meant it when you talked about being friends and tell her (don’t ask her anything!) that you and some friends will be at a specific bar this weekend and would love to meet up. Here’s where many girls drop off and that’s ok. You’ll only have about 50% success rate and that’s the hardest part of this whole process. If she’s game, then text her on the afternoon of the event (preferably Friday) and just say “Hey, we’re going to be at X bar from Xpm-Xpm. Hope to see you there. Feel free to bring your friends.”
Sidenote: at this point in the fuck buddy process, you have potentially pissed her off or turned her off. Again, that’s ok. In case you can’t see what we’re doing here yet, it’s more of a weeding out process than anything else. The truth is that it’s hard to know how slutty someone is until you get to know them. You are both getting to know her and setting up an inevitable romp session without commitment at the same time.
So, if she’s still with you and meets up with you at the bar then great! You are now in a great position and can go several routes here. My favorite is when she does bring friends and I play the role of the loud (slightly obnoxious) orchestrator of fun. For instance I’ll start a guys vs girls pool game or start a something else that’s all inclusive and try to be as vocal (in a fun way) as I can. The idea is to get noticed by all the girls. You already have the leverage of the girl went on a date with and there’s built in competition between the girls. I don’t know why, but this is one of the most effective ways of hooking up I’ve ever seen. I will often times have sex with one of that girls friends that night and somehow create a desire within the original girl to want to fuck me to get back at her friend. A little devious sure, but works like a charm.