I Was Caught

Bumble. It’s supposed to be the non-Tinder for women. If you’re not familiar, it pulls data from your Facebook account and matches you with people who are friends of friends, friends of friends’ friends, or friends’ friends of friends. Basically, it’s about connecting you with people within a couple layers of your own friends’ network.  It’s a smart idea because like minded people tend to be friends with each other and having the ability to expand your search while keeping that basic qualification intact sounds like a recipe for success. Also, women are the first to make the move so it’s puts the ball in their court and is meant to be a little safer too. From a theoretical standpoint this should work great like an e-harmony on steroids. In practice, however, since most people are only friends with 20-50 people in real life but have over 500 Facebook friends, something else happens.

The people you connect with are not as like-minded as you’d think and while the screening process is more in the woman’s control there are almost as many hookups as on Tinder because like Tinder, it uses the superficial “swipe” technique. Think of all the people you are friends with on Facebook and don’t even like that much, then think of how many people you don’t really know that well. Then think about how many people they don’t like or even know. It creates this false sense of community. The truth is that you are more likely to get matched up with some person you knew from high school’s, neighbors’ cousin than you are to meet a close friend’s friend who happens to live down the street.

Because of this, I decided to start using Bumble to supplement my Tinder account and meet a few girls here and there. I have been in a non-exclusive relationship for about 3 months but knew this could be problematic. So I was cruising through Bumble and run into this girl Casey I swiped right. Casey contacted me within 24 hours and then I wrote a quick hello back. She then wrote me a 3 page essay on how much of an ass I was. She was friends with my “girlfriend” and she was going to tell her “everything.” She went on to tell me how she had an ex who was cheating on her through Tinder and how no girl should ever have to go through that.

On one hand, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Was I really this bad of a person? Was my relationship truly non-exclusive or was I just giving myself a pass because we never officially discussed it. It’s weird how you can go from feeling like you aren’t doing something wrong to just the opposite because of one random person’s opinion. The worst part was that I didn’t want to hurt the girl I was seeing.

I decided to try to get in front of the thing. I called the girl I was seeing and explained exactly what happened. I was just going to take her response on the chin, whatever it was going to be. Instead of being upset with me, she was pissed at her friend. The situation actually brought us closer together. She hasn’t talked to her friend since she chewed her out and we just became official a few days ago. Needless to say, I deleted my Bumble account. Haven’t deleted Tinder yet, but I’m working on it. 😉


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